r e d.chilipepper

please kill me now!!

i think someone should shoot me. i have been the paradigm of sloth and gluttony this memorial day weekend. here is what i did (exactly) this weekend:

friday:
went to work
came home and ate
taught and finished up the part time job (so sad...)
went to dinner at panta rei with a friend. dinner included fried calamari, squid ink pasta in white wine sauce, and cheesecake (i'm feeling sick just thinking about this)!
volunteered at the crisis line till 12:30
went to visit NG
passed out at 1 am

saturday:
woke up at 10 am
went to dim sum at noon with meta, honeyfields, and beam-me-up-scotty
came home and slept from 2 - 4
NG and i, despite everything we ate that morning, decided we wanted asian dessert. so we went to geary for mango rice pudding and mango dessert. then, we were still being dumb and decided we wanted more food, so we got pesto chicken pizza
bolted over to the metreon, missed showing of star wars
went home to watch the exorcist
passed out at 12:30

sunday:
woke up at 9
ran 3 miles
NG and i went to thai brunch in berkeley. we ate: paid thai, curry, rice, mango salad, and mangoes on sticky rice
i went to my tutoring job whereupon i was fed korean rice cake
passed out on the muni on my ride downtown
went to volunteer again, whereupon i had a slice of carrot cake
sliu and i met up for dinner and we had eggplant salad AND pesto chicken pizza.

i deserve to be shot. this weekend has put me to shame. NG and i were saying how we've probably gained a combined 20 pounds this weekend from everything we've eaten.

i regret my gross consumption already! i'm going to have to play tennis for like 15 hours tomorrow to compensate for the damage i did the past few days.

c'est la fin

i finished the last final /exam/paper/thing-to-turn-in that i'll ever have to for my master's program last night. it was a little anti-climactic. i finished my exam, went out to dinner with some of my classmates, and then said goodbye and dropped one of them off at the bart station. i feel like i won't talk to most of them after we graduate, even though we've spent the last two years suffering through papers and exams together.

it definitely wasn't as sad for me as graduating from mit, but it just feels odd. i sort of feel like i'm going through phases in my life, and another chapter closes in time for a new one to open, and the last one becomes just as if it never existed.

this sentiment is slightly compounded by my receiving the confirmation of withdrawal from cambridge yesterday. it made me feel a bit sad. half of me is really glad that i'm not going to england, because i'm comfortable and happy here, but the other half misses the excitement and newness of an unknown transition. when i was younger, impending change was so attractive to me. i spent summers looking to work alone in beijing and france.

these days, i find myself seeking familiarity and stability in the surroundings around me. i wonder if that's just a natural tendency of age -- you no longer seek the individualistic, self-centered objectives you used to. at the very least, it's evolutionarily advantageous.

i still do wonder sometimes, though, what it would have been like to go to cambridge for three years. ehhh. moot.

well that's that. i now have a master's. you can congratulate me, but it doesn't really feel like i've done anything particularly noteworthy.

it's been one of those weeks

where everything just goes wrong. in the midst of it, you find yourself worrying that you can't handle it all, and just when you think that you're about to *break*, somehow, things just work out. or maybe it's that you have friends who backed you up, so that you could work things out.

i just have to say that i am SO excited that i'm finishing up with school and my part time jobs. having three part time jobs and school while you have a full time job is heinous.

yes. let's say that again. "hay-noose".

there are several things people may have a weird compulsion to do when things go awry (well at least me):

go to the batting cages

throw eggs at a wall

make odd faces in the hope that your faces will freeze that way (boy actually convinced me that he once crossed his eyes for two hours and they froze that way, so he went to sleep and woke up with them uncrossed, thus making the guiness book of world records for having crossed his eyes for the longest period of time. he had me going for like 20 minutes before i figured out he was joking)

eat a lot of pineapple

drink a lot of coke

spit boba at passing vehicles

watch sunsets

laugh at people whose honda civics are of a lower model than yours

laugh when your car gets crapped on by 50 million seagulls

drink a lot of water

drink more water

i need to stop. i'm scaring myself with how weird i am.

things that piss me off

i'm feeling slight aggression today. i think it's partially due to the fact that my insomnia has again rendered me sleep deprived. 4 hours last night! what the frick?

things that tick me off:
1. what i call CHB: Compulsive Honking Behavior. people need to learn to chill with the beep.

2. losing your muni/T pass at the beginning of the month.

3. losing/misplacing something that, at one point, you were like, i shouldn't put this here because i'll either lose/misplace it.

4. not being able to name/recall something during an important conversation.

5. people who gossip too much.

6. people who walk really slowly and don't let you pass.

7. people who say they will do something and don't follow up.

8. eating something you love so frequently that you get sick and can't eat it anymore.

9. exploding pens.

10. heart burn at 2 am.

11. unevenly applying sunblock and having weird tan patterns.

12. losing receipts to things you know you won't keep.

this is really petty. i need more sleep. i figure if this doesn't end at the end of may, i'm going to see a doctor.

a story of fatigue

bay to breakers was a good run yesterday. despite the muggy fogginess of the city, it was fun to see so many people out and about. marsha, sunny, yang, steve p., stevo, and i headed out early and finished under 1 hour, 30 minutes. stevo and i decided to train for the sf half marathon... there's going to be some serious food consumption in the next few months.

mad props to marsha for running b2b after spending several hours in the er on saturday night and after her heinous fall.

it's been a really busy and fulfilling few weeks, but i'm tired. i was so tired after volunteering last night that when my muni train missed my stop, i almost cried in frustration. it's good that i have the ability to laugh at myself when i realize that i'm being dumb.

so anyhow, the story for the next week is school and sleep. nothing but the two. occasionally, i may fit in a friend viewage, some tv, but i am seriously in the red in the sleep bank.

speaking of which, i think i will nap now.

AND IT WILL BE CALLED....

xi gua.

mandarin for watermelon. it (my new car that makes me salivate every morning when i arise and look out the window) now has a name. behold!!

paddles

we went camping/kayaking this weekend up in north bay in point reyes. it was a good sized group - 10 of us - with the majority of us being totally experienced campers/outdoorsy people, and a few tagalongs like me who like the outdoors but have never really done it alone.

the first day was absolutely gorgeous. good weather, mostly clear skies, warm, animals out and about. we set up camp relatively quickly after 45 minute kayak trip to marshall beach, and then took off for hog island and some wildlife viewing. we caught wind of some seals, jellyfish, and thousands of star fish. note: you think they look cute when they're alone, but when there are thousands of them surrounding you, it's a bit freakish.

given the fact that we were camping, i was pretty impressed with the dinner we had: kalbi, chocolate chip cookies, spiced apple cider with run, brie and gouda with baguettes. we even had grilled kimchi and smores... no matter what this group does, even if it's camping amongst the elk dung, we seem to do it in style.

the second day... not so good. it started raining hard over night, so must of us were pretty sleep deprived. by the time we got up, most of our tents had leaked, and it was pouring down. the winds had picked up when we took off for the return but things got so dicey. as this was my first time kayaking in open water, i was most definitely not prepared for the 3-foot waves, our kayak getting tipped and spun left and right, winds wipping my paddle everywhere, and the rain coming down so hard that it hurt and blinded us. i was a bit scared, to be honest. if a kayak tips over, you're in trouble because the water is damn cold and because your kayak will need to get pumped out. well, there were four of us in our group, with only one pump and the winds were pushing everyone in all directions. it was nearly impossible to keep together. as soon as one person tried to slow down, he'd get pushed wayside.

the worst part was the wetness. shortly after leaving my tent yesterday morning, i realized it was impossible to stay dry so i just let myself get pelted by the rain. the problem is, you don't realize what it means to be *that* wet, or at least wet to the extent that every bone in your body is frigid. we actually managed to make it across the bay, but when i got back, i was so cold i crouched in front of a space heater for 30 minutes, shaking.

as it turns out, we weren't caught in an everyday rain shower. we had actually made it through a northwestern rainstorm that usually only occurs in the winter. the guy told us he had never seen one in the middle of may like that. and he commended us on getting across the bay, saying that most beginners wouldn't have made it across.

interestingly, i'm not that sore. although my body held up pretty well physically with all the intense paddling, i'm sick. i think i've lost my voice. but the weird part is that i'd do it all over again if i could, rain and everything. except maybe this time i'd wrap myself in saran wrap or something. that wet cold was seriously heinous.

breathe...

i just declined my offer to cambridge university.

i have to tell you, that is messed up. i never thought i would have the choice to *decline* admission to my dream school, but even the most unlikely things happen.

it's okay though. NG was asking me if it made me sad. a little. but you lose something good, and life rewards you with something possibly better. it all evens out in the end.

Bao bao from the side

Bao bao from the side


Originally uploaded by redchilipepper.

my new baby...

bleaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ugh. hills really suck.

procrastination

just to insert some more happiness:

感謝的。。。

1。我媽的關懷﹐ 溫柔﹐ 跟包容。我爸的頑皮﹐ 耐心﹐跟體會的心。
2。我哥哥的聰明。
3。我兩阿媽不變的愛。
4。我爺爺的笑榮。 小的時候﹐ 他都教我做人的道理。
5。我家人的胡向的了解。
6。但我最訴要的時間﹐ 我朋友都陪我。
7。一個不放氣的態度。

i got my baby...

someone needs to slap or pinch me. really hard. things are going way too nicely and i keep feeling like i need to wake up. maybe i should ram myself into the wall a few times. even if i draw blood and my nose is broken, at least i'll know it's for real.

i bought my first car yesterday. it was sort of a surreal experience, because compared to the first few dealers i went to, the guys yesterday were unbelievably kind and very considerate. i'm going to write them a glowing letter, but i *strongly* recommend you visit the serramonte honda dealer if you're in the market for a car soon. these people were impeccable in integrity and service.

last night, my car was delivered to me. i decided to go manual, despite all the brou ha ha that i'm going to die on the hills (which i probably will), and despite the fact that i've never owned a stick car or driven one for more than 1 mile.

the car arrived at 9:30 and i took it for a spin with one of the salesmen. mmm... the clutch on my baby catches *so* nicely, and i love it. it's soooooo bootiful. someday it's going to break some man's heart, just like its owner =P.

any suggestions for a name for a crimson on beige honda civic? poor suggestions from goonley like "rcp-mobile" aren't really cutting it.