August 14, 2005

retirement

i'm retiring.

from the blog, from various other things.

farewell!

Posted by redchilipepper at 06:37 PM | Comments (1)

August 10, 2005

i tried

to sell my two self-patented clubs but nobody wanted them. i was a little sad, to be honest. who wouldn't want a dirty and a stupid club?

i like this sound of this word:

somehow, i feel that it describes me.

Posted by redchilipepper at 01:16 PM

August 03, 2005

clorox

i smell like bleach, and my hands are all pruney, but the kitchen is clean, damn it.

the sink was yellow, but is now white. there were bits of food residing on the floor, but now they have been swept into oblivion. the stove had burnt crumbs that i have ground away in the garbage disposal.

most importantly, it is *so* satisfying to reinforce my ocd tendencies. i feel like god.

on a related note, i have decided to patent two things:

a dirty club and a stupid club.

the stupid club will be used by said inventor to beat stupid people. a method wherein the knocking action of said club results in the gaining of some logic and sense. a method wherein stupidity suddenly is violently purged from the body and said stupidity no longer ensues.

the dirty club will be used by the said inventor to beat dirty people. a method wherein the dirty people are beat repeatedly and vigorously until they vomit on themselves and stop being dirty.

Posted by redchilipepper at 11:49 PM | Comments (2)