"place clever heading here"
i think i'm running out of clever headings. perhaps it's because my mind is inextricably caught in the quagmire of developmental psychology. i got my first apa paper back. goodness, did i get my tush whipped by my professor's red pen and my ta's green pen. i deserved it, to be sure. it was a sloppy effort, not proofread, and filled with lots of dangling modifiers. and i should know about those, shouldn't i? my second paper will be much better. but did you know that when you are talking about age, you write 2-year-old or 25-year-old? i never realized there was hyphenation between *all* those numbers.
so things have been busy. i spent about 11, 12 hours working this week. i don't mind teaching, i actually love it, but my conscience is telling me that there's something terribly wrong about the 11-year-old sixth-grader that i have in my sat class. what is he doing there? he's supposed to be out hauling mud at his little sister or rolling around in the soccer field. he shouldn't be sitting there learning what innocuous means. i tell you, it bothers me terribly. the saddest part is that *all* my students are asian. it might have something to do with san francisco being majority asian, but i think it also has to do with the fact that asian parents are cramming ivy league schools and the importance of gpa down their kids' throats by the time they are 10. so i try to make the class fun. i might bring in some candy this weekend. anything to make me feel less guilty about those kids.
so yes, taught this weekend, went to some parties on saturday, wrote my paper, went to a jazz concert with jjpark at canvas, which was damn good, and then jjpark alerted me to the fact that wearing a ring on my wedding finger may not a good idea. sometimes you forget these things... it's good to have a jjpark in the world to remind you.
in any case, the party on saturday was weird. it was terribly overeducated: harvard, stanford, mit, princeton, berkeley, yale, ucsf. all these erudite little punks in a room trying to pass off as being cool. it was cool cause i met a guy who knows beckfat and a guy who went to high school with my freshman year roommate at mit. talk about a small world.
oh yesterday in class we talked about the effectiveness of chemical pheromones. in a study conducted in 1970, the men and women who used pheromones experienced almonst a doubling of intimate/sexual contact than the control group. granted this stuff costs 100 dollars, but hey, if you can get instant love from a bottle, who wouldn't want that?
on second hand, i can't imagine putting virtual sweat on me. gross...
"belly trouble."
aaaaaaaugh. i'm so pissed. there are people who get sick. sometimes they get sniffles. sometimes they sneeze. it usually occurs with the allergy season. then there are people like hua. never get sick. never get icky. everytime i see them, they look healthier and better than they did before. don't even get me started on hua. he's training for the fbi. he looks ridiculous. he could take on the hulk. actually. he is practically an asian hulk. so envious of my hua =(. poo. anyhow. let me go on.
and then there is me. my stomach, every few months, decides to combustively explode and not let anything in.
frickin' *^)%@#$%&(!!!
i can't eat again. what the frick?
the annoyingness of this situation is only abated by the fact that i heard from my high school physics teacher. i had him 7 years ago and he still writes me, sends me candy and used to visit me in boston when i was at mit. today, he sent me a two page letter, and a book by john grisham about a lawyer who quits his high-paying corporate job. he's the bestest. oh. and maybe i feel better because i heard from beckfat, miss monica, tinalynn, *and* atsai. i mean how much better can life get when your best female friends write you?
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!"
tooo... much... going... on.
need to stop.
"so i'm leaving... on a midnight flight to connecticut, oh yes she is..."
i'm so tired.
this is what happens when i'm on crack:
pepper: so pepper is tire
pepper: say something rude and you will raise my ire
pepper: someday, a happy old woman i will retire
pepper: and sit in a log cabin before a warm fire
pepper: i'll have servants to cook and change my tire
friend 'o pepper: haha
pepper: and i won't have to deal with social or financial quagmires
pepper: i will have everything i could want or achieve all i did aspire
pepper: and not have to try to make ends meet by cutting close to a pecuniary wire
pepper: and then i will put away my sign that says, "psychologist for hire."
pepper: i'll buy the harvard kroks as my personal choir
pepper: and i'll burn sacrificial 6.033 bibles on a pire
pepper: or perhaps a monk i will become, and hence sell all my belongings to an unwitting buyer
pepper: and by the oaths i take, i will utter no words fit for a liar
pepper: and late at night, when ye are asleep, you shall hear from the town crier
pepper: pepper has become ordained, and left all earthy desire.
last night shahma and i went out for dinner and dessert. we spent 20 minutes rhyming. i'm such a loser.
"dangling modifier? *&)^*&%?"
what the fig newton is a dangling modifier?
here is an example:
having been picked from a tree, daniel ate the fresh apple.
that's just badness everywhere, because daniel wasn't picked from the tree. the apple was. so you say, having been picked from a tree, the fresh apple was delicious.
anyhow, why am i talking about this? cause i got a job. three blocks from my apartment. i'm going to be teaching the gre, sat, gmat, ssat, psat, sat ii, chemistry and physics. hah!
"say it's only a paper moon..."
i'm all girly excited =).
i finally got into the san francisco lindy scene. now i know where to go every week to get my fill of texas joe spins, swing outs, and barrels. life is good.
and someone gave me a free pair of red pumas. how much better can it get than that?
"a hot san francisco"
whew! it has been really hot the past few days in the city. yesterday neared 90, and today was a warm day too.
wednesday, i did work, research, reading and then hit up the oracle world concert. i got a chance to watch train sing, and boy, can that lead singer really sing. i found out from my recording voice teacher that most singers downadays mix in their vocals live. so while it looks like they're singing live, they're not. they have backup clips that people real-time intertwine into their singing. no wonder it sounds so good. supposedly, he says that enrique is the worst. so then, on thursday, ful, marshymarsh and her friend and i went to napa valley. i always manage to get buzzed with one glass of wine. it's really pathetic. i can feel my head getting all gushy inside, my speech slurring and then -wham- the incoherency sets in. not that i was coherent to begin with. but it's ridiculous. i can't seem to get my tolerance up. anyhow, ful got a convertible and we were driving around in hot, baking weather with the top down. i actually felt kind of asian mafia. it was cool.
yesterday i got to see momo. he was in town for oracle world. we had some bad dim sum at ton kiang (i'm actually really disappointed), and then went to visit his friend, warren. i think we were all really tired though, because of the hot weather. we got some jamba juice, but i have to say, i don't like jamba juice. it's really too sweet. too much sugar. way too much aciditiy. after that, i came home, did some work and then marshymarsh and her friend and i went to a local cafe to listen to some musicians. and i went to bed early. nice. i love sleep.
today, i missed all the nice weather because i was writing a paper all day. i really like being a student, i think. i don't mind the reading and the information and i like that my brain is always working. machination. good word.
i could probably be an eternal academic.
so the more i think about it, the more i'd really like to go clinical psych phd. i think i want to teach medical students, and do research on child psychology. maybe have a part time practice. it sounds busy, i know, probably not too conducive to a family life. but i was thinking about this the other day. i'm at a point where i can choose a profession that is good for me and what presently consists of my family - my parents, brother, uncles and cousins. getting a phd would allow me to see them, and would also make me happy. i can't really decide on a career now based on a hypothetical "family" that i want someday; they don't exist now and i don't even know if they ever will. so, although i'd love to get married someday and have kids, bake them cookies for lunch, take them to soccer practices and smile at my husband in the mornings and such, i'm not sure that that will even happen so i best now plan for myself. i guess if that dream does come true someday, i'll make changes and exceptions then. but for now, i'm a confirmed bachelorette, and probably will nerdily stay that way for a while. i suppose it's quite okay with me, too.
"life inspiration"
two year anniversary. i hope people around the world had a contemplative, yet meaningful day.
now i'll digress into the meaningless. excuse me if i'm sounding offensive. i'm kind of still sleep deprived.
why do i spend so much time writing? does anyone ever read this?
well. probably not. but let me write down my life inspirations.
1. to gain enough good karma to someday finally enter a contest and win something. an xbox. a trip to jamaica. a $3,000 shopping spree.
2. to marry a rich octegenarian. pretend to love him, wait until he bides his time, take his money and travel around the world. this sounds awful, doesn't it? oh well. tonight the cynical pepper has emerged.
3. to be able to sing on stage without regard to whether i am sounding good. even if it's in a useless karaoke stage, let me sing.
4. to slap a girl in the face. i've watched cat fights. they look interesting. i'd love to slap someone and look graceful doing it.
5. to grow another 4 inches. this'll never happen.
6. to egg a house of someone i dislike on the hottest day possible. that'd be fun. sticky, hardened egg yolks are difficult to clean.
7. to repent for everything evil above on the list. sorry. sorry. sorry.
"life is beautiful"
it's funny how when things hit, they really hit you full force.
class started monday, and i got hammered with research papers to read, apa manuals to assess, and research disserations to write. stuff is due next week, i need to go find a kid to watch in the child study center by next week, and i found a professor at school to advise me on acculturation studies, which is exactly what i want to do. volunteering has sort of kicked in, but it seems to be ridiculously hard to get a hold of these people. i can't wait to get in there and start doing useful things. it's just really amazing that, when i finally opened myself up to letting great things happen, fortune walked in the door bearing gifts. it's just all too good! and, i met some really fantastic people in my graduate class. i think the thing about psychologists is that they really care about human nature and welfare, so they're all really nice and caring and gregarious people. i dig it =p.
other than that, last night a friend and i took his car down the pch at midnight to half moon bay. the weather was graciously beautiful last night, and the moon was so huge that the entire drive was brightly lit by natural luminescence. he has a convertible so we put the top down, heated up our seats and put the air on full blast. we got out around dunes beach and watched the water lap against the rocks, but it was a bit cold, so we couldn't stay out that long.
i've decided that the ocean is one of those things that you can watch indefinitely. i just don't get sick of hearing the rhythm of it, and seeing how calm and pacifying it is. anyhow, it felt nice to be one of maybe ten people on the road, when everything was so quiet, and we could put on some hokey 80s music. the best part was that when i got home, my hair was all over the place and my face a tad chilly. it was so neat!
oh and we tried out our new vacuum cleaner. it is *so* sexy.
"rainier maria rilke"
gosh. he's amazing.
i bought his book last year for an ex, after beckfat mentioned it to me. and i read excerpts of his writing.
when i arrived in sf, i bought "letters to a young poet."
and i read it.
and reread it.
and picked it up again recently.
i wish i could write the way he did, and express feelings and emotions the way he did. he's amazing.
"2 a.m. thievery"
being a newcomer to sf, i decided to co-host a bonfire on ocean beach tonight. if all goes well, it ought to be complete with smores, lots of toasted marshmallows, some hidden alcohol, and lots of good friends. i'm quite excited for this -- the indian summer characteristic of september finally hit and the city has been blessed with some warm evenings and beautiful days.
i don't really foresee anything missing from this bonfire except, well, the firewood itself. my friends and i made the mistake of engaging a rather large crowd -- 25 people, to be exact -- which would necessitate us having a large amount of wood. wood seems to be ridiculously expensive in the city, and it burns quite fast, so we needed to find some other large source of wood that was cheap, and perhaps preferably free.
so last night at 2 a.m. we decided to execute a W.L.P. (yes, that is the Wood Liberation Party) raid on a nearby* (*denotes not to be named) grocery store. we found some palettes, crates used to forklift large supplies and such, and we were ready to run off when we realized that they were ridiculously large. hrm. problem. no axe, no hammer, no saw. nothing with which to truncate or deassemble our precious palettes. well. tina had a large rental car. so we tried cramming it into her trunk, to no avail. then we tried putting it in the back seat, to no avail as well.
so we called ful's roommate, who has a hatchback, and asked him to drive out to our secret coup d'etat location. and he did. as we waited for him, we were trying to secretly hide ourselves, lest the popos come and find us. he showed but refused to partake in the W.L.P. activities, as he did not agree to the illegal nature of our doings.
so last night, at 2 a.m., we gave up our hopes of liberating enough wood for tonight's festivities.
the bonfire is to take place in well, 12 hours and we have no idea where we are going to get *that* much wood. i should have focused more on the graham crackers.
"soccer legs"
last year, huru and beckfat and i went to see the us and netherland national mens soccer teams play against each other. indeed, i love the sport. i played it for 6 years. i was quite the left halfback. anyhow, at this us-netherland match, there were plenty of soccer legs.
let me expound on soccer legs.
soccer players are hot.
they, as well as runners and swimmers, have the body god meant to be perfect. yes, better than tennis, although i am a die hard tennis fan. and yes, better than dancers, although i love dancing myself. there's something about how fast and deft soccer players are, and they're all ripped. you'd think they only use their legs, but they're ripped. i liked ripped soccer players.
recently, i have been running in a stadium near my apartment. i like the rubber of the track and it helps me gauge my progress, at least while i'm starting to run. on tuesday, i made the fortuitous mistake of missing my morning workout and i moved it to the evening. lordy! i am so glad i did. you see, during the evenings, the center field is filled to the brim with soccer players. huru mentioned the other day that i must have some intense endurance to run 3 miles on a boring track. hah! little does he know. what endurance do i need if there are 50 men with soccer legs to watch during that time? and when i'm not watching the soccer players, there are intense running club men running ahead of me. i mean, there's muscle everywhere. not only is it fun to watch, but i get some major incentive to run more. it's not running, actually. as i said to mhao today, i'm chasing after these men. i could run forever!
so life is good. i plan to keep going to this track at 7 pm every night, to watch my lovely soccer legs play soccer, and perhaps in time i might just get in good enough shape to join one of those running clubs... mmm....
"long absence"
blah! i've been away, so sorry, so sorry. though i'm not sure people are even reading my blawg. =p.
in any case, school starts next week and i'm going to be taking a graduate class. observation of children and technical (apa) writing. in the first class, i get to spend 8 hours a week watching 3 - 4 year olds play with each other and develop their analytical, language and interactional skills. i love little kids. but just watch. i bet they'll puke all over me. the writing class sounds like it's going to be pretty intense. 7 twenty page papers during the term, all in apa (american psychology association) format. all about modern day psychology issues. i dunno. it sounds like it could be immense fun, too.
other than that.. my life is pretty uneventful. running 3 miles several times a week, japanese lessons, went to the beach on monday and vegged out. fought a pounding headache yesterday. writing my book. did 100 crunches. i wish i had more interesting stuff to say =p.