okay. so i am really obsessed. ty and i have found a new boy to be crazy over.
whoa. i've been having trouble posting lately. i've been quite prolific, writing amazingly interesting blogs, only to find out, much to my own chagrin, that they don't post.
a thanks out to hua for feeding me more information with cool new vocabulary words!
okay. so let me just scream! ahhhhh!! what's with new england? great foliage. beautiful little towns. i even love atlantic salmon. but pray tell me, what's with this weather? in the past three weeks, i think i've counted exactly three sunny days. the rest had a somber gloom about them. the best thing about fall is the crispness of the weather, not the rain that flies in from all directions, bombarding you and chilling you to the bone. i've decided that the best way to insulate oneself is just to wrap oneself in saran wrap. otherwise, that pesky rain will find a way to get you!
so i went to the young alumni mixer last night at the harvard club and had a good time. i bumped into rkm - or rich moy, and his sister, patricia. what a blast from the past. i actually hosted her as a pre-frosh my freshman year. it's been 5 years since i've seen her. boy, do i feel old. how fast time goes. in any case, people were mixing and trying to talk to each other and i got this sense that i'm kind of snobbish now. i don't really feel the need to try and branch out and meet new people. i went there, talked to the people i wanted to see, said hi to those who i kind of half knew, and left without making much idle banter. so odd. i used to be so social too!
and then i got into a vocabulary war with my friend jacob markish, who lived on burton 5 with me. we just sat there spewing out words back and forth and i think eugene wanted to decapitate both of us. i think i started it by pulling celerity out. and then he shot back with alacrity. it seriously went out on for an hour... i'm not sure who won. and then today i logged into my email account and discovered that he had retaliated - with the word fungible. i gave him a helpful smacking of sesquipedalian.
and then i came to the realization that i'm a big nerd.
i just have to tell you, my secretary kicks ass.
okay. now i'm scaring myself.
i'm still enamored with that a capella harvard boy. i feel wrong. like i'm robbing the cradle. venturing into forbidden territory. sigh....
and so today i think i ought to wait out law school admissions and not do early decision. this is insane. i might as well toss a coin.
i am still obsessed with that singing harvard boy. there is something wrong with me.
so i had a really marvelous weekend.
on friday night, jon, stan and i went to the harvard krokodiloes' concert. as some of you may know, i love singing. i think the human voice is extremely beautiful. and these guys were amazing. i was totally stunned by the music they were producing. one of the kroks' was playing the guitar and singing and there and then, i wanted to run up to him and ask him to marry me. yes yes, it's a little ridiculous. but i was just so moved by him. and something about the way he sang made me really respect him and feel like he was just such a badass. i think i want a badass for myself someday =).
and then i went home, and spent hours talking to my parents about law school and the meaning of life and success. the whole conversation did a huge number on me, because it made me rethink how i defined success, and what it meant to me on the whole. i think i used to relate success with numbers - grades, gpa, percentiles, deviations, class averages. and now i'm not really sure that that's what i think will make me a better person, or even a better lawyer, for that matter. my parents and i finally decided that yes, applying to uchastings early decision is not such a bad idea. my final goal is to be a lawyer. and whether i obtain that through attending harvard law school or hastings, i'm not sure it really matters.
and so i spent the entire weekend helping my parents rake leaves, and talking to neighbors who used to remember me as a rambunctious 2nd grader. it was just very odd - the same people, the same houses, the same neighborhood, all painted completely different by the changing conditions of time. kids i used to babysit are now in college.
and then i came home and watched beauty and the beast (disney's version) and it made me cry. i'm totally ridiculous because i cry through everything. but i really wonder if self-sacrificial love - the kind that prompted the beast to let belle go when the rose was beginning to lose its petals - really exists. or if that's just a fantasy that we'd all like to believe exists.
so today i have decided that i am much too frenetic for my own liking. i seem to wander from one crisis to another in my life - one worry to another. and it's so damn tiring! i think this ocd personality is definitely a product of my childhood, and mit didn't make it any better. things happen and i feel this necessity to just freak out and worry and overanalyze and dissect every detail, every thought, every problem. and it's like, dude. chill out.
yah. chill out.
and this is weird. my habit of doing so is bugging me out right now. i'm disconcerted by how i become disconcerted. i know this is leading to the dog chasing it's tail phenomenon. nested issues.
okay. so i'll stop.
i got my lsats back. didn't do great. did alright. but now i have to decide what i want to do about my applications. is it so bad to go to a school partially based on the location? you tell me that.
