it's hot in taiwan. really, really hot. i wasn't prepared for the 32 degree celsius weather, or the mugginess, or the pollution. there's something about taiwan that is always dirty and if it weren't for my family being here, i wouldn't necessarily say that the quality of life here merits visiting frequently. somehow, it feels like taiwan was the small, simple country that succumbed to industrialism faster than it could handle.
nonetheless, my jetlagged sleep deprivation has led me to yet another profound (or at least i think) thought. if i am in the situation of finding myself deeply disappointed in an individual, it's really because i'm upset that this person has seemingly ruined the delicate balance of my needing to have my expectations fulfilled and them actually being fulfilled. i have no right to expect someone else to achieve a certain level of "goodness" or "character of being" that i have arbitrarily set. no person walks unmarked, no person is omniscient, and i'd be a hypocrite to say that they should be otherwise. in essence, in such a situation, i'm the only person who is really falling from grace.
so in this case and others i've witnessed, i find myself confused. i thought that i should be angry or upset, but i feel more sadness than anything. maybe it's sadness knowing that there must be something dark within that compels a person to behave in a generally disapproved way. or maybe, it's more that i know that others will mark him (or her) as a pariah. they'll lambaste him, find ways to brew bad from his past goods, and shun his future overtures. that person becomes tainted, and the judgements begin to preceed the actions. and they'll do this all without looking within to see how incredibly selfish and incompassionate they are in expecting a person to be a god.
Posted by redchilipepper at April 4, 2006 04:51 AM