r e d.chilipepper

a little shocked

something happened today that was kind of shocking. maybe it's not that big of a deal, but i found it to be kind of shocking.

i was out on a date with a fellow and i mentioned to him that my goal is to try and eat more. i'm not thin, i've never been thin, but i'm very active and try to be very healthy. i'm happy that way. weight used to be more of a problem when i was in college but i've dropped a couple of sizes, and i've learned to accept what it is i am. after my surgery, though, the anesthesia got me so sick that i couldn't eat for weeks. i'd vomit up everything, including liquids, and get so weak i'd stay in bed. i'm eating better now, but calorie counts indicate that i'm around 800 calories per day. not enough for someone who runs several miles. and certainly not enough nutrients and vitamins to sustain a healthy lifestyle. it causes kidney problems when your glycemic index gets too low.

so i'm telling this guy this and he kind of does this derisive snort and says to me, "you're definitely not skinny, you don't need to eat anymore. i mean, you should just eat what you eat. you don't need more than that." all the while, he's kind of pointing at my belly.

uhhh.

okay. so i've been working a lot of my temper and it's improved dramatically. i was silent and didn't let myself get immediately upset. so i called one of my best friends to ask him if the statement was inappropriate. his opinion was that it probably wasn't intended the way it came out, but still wasn't quite tactful. and then i called another friend and this is what he emailed me a few minutes ago. i was extremely moved:

by william butler yeats:

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

for every idiot in the world who will tell you that you're a pudgy fartmonger, there will be someone else to remind you of what is beautiful, meaningful, right. what it means to hope for someone who will accept you and hold you in regard. it's moments like these that i can't believe i am so blessed to have the friends and people in my life that i do.

as for the overweight monger comment person, he didn't mean anything malicious. too bad for him, though. he doesn't get to have me. and in the process, he's missing out on all the f*ckin' amazing people i know. sucks to be an idiot.