see you around.

i haven't really blogged about it because well...typing goes against that whole tingly fingers thing. :P

my parents want to get a lawyer to just handle all the details because there will be a lot and to not incur any unwarranted costs because i did something in the wrong way or something. i'm still not sure what to do.

i've basically been just handling it so far with the AAA adjustor. this morning he said he'd open a medical claim and that another adjustor would be handling that portion and would call me about that. i haven't heard anything yet.

the idea of a lawyer is seeming more and more enticing, as there seems to be more details i need to pay attention to. and besides, i still have finals and my paris class to prepare for.

where does one even find lawyers anyway?

MICHAEL CHABON, author of THE YIDDISH POLICEMEN'S UNION. May 11, 7:30 PM. Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 3600 Stevens Creek Blvd, San Jose. 408-984-3495.

some of the following quizzes had snazzy graphics and such to post on your blog, but as i was using someone else's laptop at the time, i didn't want to take too much time posting. so the following are stripped down to links and results. :)

update: i started retaking these tests in the comfort of my own home while i was sick. i felt inspired while rewatching harry potter and the sorcerer's stone. :) anyway, that's what the numbers (#1 and #2) are for.

Find Your Hogwarts House: The Harry Potter Sorting Hat Personality Test
1st time: 98 hufflepuff, 88 ravenclaw, 78 gryffindor, 14 slytherin
2nd time: 84 ravenclaw, 78 gryffindor, 77 hufflepuff, 52 slytherin
(haha... i must have not cared about people as much the second time around :D)

someone pointed out that the results were too close to be certain, and that i should take at least two more tests. also, i got the impression that this test was too gameable.

Hogwarts House Sorting Quiz
#1: ravenclaw
#2: ravenclaw (in detail: 15 ravenclaw, 12 gryffindor, 11 hufflepuff, 6 slytherin)

but i'd been told to take at least two more. and besides, this test just didn't feel very... er... scientific. :D so...

OKCupid! The Hogwarts House Placement Test
#1: 56 gryffindor, 28 ravenclaw, 32 hufflepuff, 8 slytherin
#2: 48 gryffindor, 20 ravenclaw, 20 hufflepuff, 14 slytherin

now it was really confusing. the two tests i was supposed to take to clarify actually confused things more. i was told to take three more tests.

What's your Hogwarts House? A SelectSmart.comŽ Selector
in order: hufflepuff, ravenclaw, gryffindor, slytherin
#2: gryffindor, ravenclaw, hufflepuff, slytherin

that just put me back to the first test. so unhelpful. besides, i was supposed to take three more...

Title: Your Hogwarts House (Harry Potter)
#1: gryffindor
#2: ravenclaw

it may have been at this point that i started to notice a pattern in what kind of questions were biasing me more towards one house than another for the different houses. i don't really want to bias anyone here, so i will keep my theories to myself. well... people can ask me about them later, i guess. :D

The Hogwarts Sorting Hat
#1: hufflepuff
#2: gryffindor

clearly, the additional three tests didn't do much clarifying. so... i added a few more on my own.

OKCupid! The Hogwarts House Placement Test (a different test)
You scored 38 Gryffindor, 34 Ravenclaw, 24 Hufflepuff, and 10 Slytherin!
gryffindor! 20% Slytherin, 20% Ravenclaw, 64% Gryffindor, and 28% Hufflepuff!
or squib! 20% Slytherin, 40% Ravenclaw, 44% Gryffindor, and 28% Hufflepuff!

Quiz! Which Hogwarts' House Do You Belong In?
#1: gryffindor
#2: gryffindor

Get Sorted at sorting-hat.com
#1: gryffindor
#2: gryffindor

so having gotten three straight gryffindors, and intuitively feeling that i wasn't really ravenclaw or hufflepuff (and clearly not slytherin)....

GRYFFINDOR!

so my saga ends. :D what are you?

incidentally, it seems like most people in my program are hufflepuffs. there are a few ravenclaws and even fewer gryffindors. with slytherin being rare. at least two of the four lead instructors are hufflepuffs. i have a fledgling theory that this has a strong influence on how the program is. :D

update cont.: some new tests...

Wizarding World - Virtual Sorting Hat
gryffindor

A Genuine Sorting Hat Quiz - Quizilla
Ravenclaw. Logical and dedicated to learning, you sometimes forget the smaller things in life.

Hogwarts Sorting Hat (OKCupid!)
gryffindor

it's pretty clear that i'm gryffindor, with ravenclaw as a strong second. though, i pause at gryffindor's maroon and gold colors. ravenclaw is blue and bronze...

everyone knows that blue and gold are the best colors, anyway. :D (maybe that's why i keep getting ravenclaw and gryffindor ;D)

go bears!

writing poetry:
TuTh 300-415

reconstructing lost civilizations:
Th 600-845

finishing my incomplete tidepool project to prevent an F.

optional things to sit in on:
ACME transmissions:
Th 1130-130

BFA:
F 930-1230

workshops with professionals:
S 1000-100?

travel plans:
London: 3/20-3/29
Montreal: ? around 4/30-5/3
grandparents' 90th birthday, Ohio: ? around 5/26
Paris, France: 6/1-6/30
SDCC: ? around 7/25-7/29
friend's wedding, location TBA: 7/28
Korea: ? my family never plans anything in advance

And they're very nice. They emailed me to see that I got the CD ok and pretty much told me share the music with people. And they want to keep in touch. They make it clear that this was a project borne of love. It's very sweet. :)

I strongly suggest at least checking them out. And you know I'm generally really crummy about writing reviews about anything. :D

A better review, sample pages and links can be found on:
Drawn! The Illustration and Cartooning Blog: Ragni

the band's website:
Ragni

the guy who did the artwork for the graphic novel:
Karl Kerschl

these days the most frequent lines are:

"there's only us. there's only this. forget regret, or life is yours to miss."

"then why choose fear?"
"i'm a new yorker. fear's my life."

i'm no new yorker, but i'm an asian girl with a protestant background, which more than qualifies. in every major decision in my life, fear and potential regret have played major roles. i won't list the details just yet.

(more in extended)

Coke Happiness Factory

i like that company. :) makes me want to consider advertising as well....

having come to the US at the age of six, i am completely fluent in english. in fact, i have better english than most native-born Americans. i also grew up in california, where being asian isn't an odd thing anymore, there are so many others like you. of course, that wasn't always the case. in fact, i probably caught the tail end of when it was weird to be asian.

in elementary school, people didn't know what korea was, and i was the other asian kid. so of course, the chinese boy and i were going to marry when we grow up, right? and k-i-s-s-i-n-g in a tree and all that other stupid childhood nonsense. i still have a hard time forgetting the oh-so-favorite "go back to your own country" lines thrown at me, my parents, or my friends' parents whenever someone didn't get their way. or generally being treated like you're less of a person because you don't have fluent english yet or because you have an accent. with those kinds of pressures, you learn to speak perfect english really quickly -- it was a matter of survival. in fact, i didn't start feeling relaxed about that until college, which was when my characteristic mixing of words and inability to quickly identify objects in english came creeping in.

and never mind all the mistakes you make because you don't know what's what. back to school was a nightmare -- what the hell is an index divider? there are erasable pens? i thought the whole point was that they weren't erasable... how come you only have black? i need blue. and brads? report covers... how come there are so many different kinds? what are these registration forms for? where do they go? what do you do with this fundraising money you've received? etc etc etc. and don't forget being cast as the little china doll in your school play.

i still don't have a good handle on idioms and popular culture. traditional american customs and traditions remain a mystery to me and i can make social gaffs without even realizing it. thankfully, i have very kind friends that will teach me these things instead of judging me for my mistakes. i know that not everyone is that fortunate.

(i don't really want to go into the experiences my parents had to deal with here. all i can say is that it's pretty humiliating to have graduate school level educations in korea and to be treated like you're mentally lacking by even the most obnoxious and stupid people just because english isn't your native tongue.)

being asian in california got a lot better later. when my family first moved to PV, there weren''t that many asians, but they made up a good 10% of the student body. that percentage was even higher in middle school. then in high school..... a whopping 50% or so. then i went to uc berkeley, which was actually a decrease to 40%. now, all my friends are basically mixed couples or have mixed couple friends, and ethnicity really doesn't even come up as an issue.

in a way, it's weird for me to be in an area that isn't as diverse as the environs i am now used to. if i go to korea or korean churches, there are too many asians and i feel funny. if i go to whitetown USA, i feel odd and singled out.

anyway, what i'm trying to say, in my own rambly-because-i'm-still-angry kind of way, is that i haven't experienced that much racism (relative to others) and also haven't experienced it in a really long while.

so it's like cold, hot, fire, icewater dumped on your head when it hits you right in the kisser.

i've been having a frustrating back and forth with New Century Tours, a group which puts together tours for students. my sister's 8th grade trip is going to DC, NYC and other places and the school apparently selected this company for those services. and it sounds like a cool trip where you get to see a lot of neat things.

but here's the thing.... they have all these things that are "very clearly stated" on their forms where you have to opt OUT of a $150 refund guarantee program. if you take the also "clearly stated" easy payment plan where you pay in installments, it costs you another $15 on top of the normal charges. furthermore, you have to opt out of these things by the first payment or there is no going back. never mind that automatically adding an optional service and making people purchase it if they don't realize they need to opt out is a pretty shady practice to begin with. when i pointed out that my parents are immigrants and that these things weren't clear to them, the office manager then claimed that that half their students are immigrants and they've written their things clearly for everyone. they also said that you can't please parents... if you don't have the refund program, they feel upset when they cancel and can't their money back (10% of their students cancel, apparently) or they feel upset when they're charged for this program.

i'm betting that more than 10% of their customers are upset about being unwittingly signed up for the refund program, and that a great majority of the people who are signed up for this without their knowledge are immigrants, non-native speakers and careless native speakers.

when i was arguing with her further, she asked me to send her the email of my first complaint about being enrolled in this program. i'd sent it with my mom's email, which takes on more meaning later. after some clarifications on other things, she asked if i sent her the email. i said i did. and then she says "i can't read chinese."

yes, because i'd be stupid enough to send her something in a language that she can't read. and clearly, in her mind, this just lumps me in with other unreasonable immigrants who find issue with their company's policies which are "clearly stated" for everyone and the "registrant's responsibility to know what they are signing up for." and yes, because if i'm asian, i must be chinese.

i had to explain to her that the email's in english (thinking, you haven't even bothered to look at your subject line, have you?). and that name on the "from" line isn't chinese, it's korean.

this kind of response just brings back so many memories. even recent ones, where people keep trying to talk to me in chinese - "ni hao" "sheh sheh" just because i'm asian. i feel mixed about the people that try to talk chinese to me... i think it's good that they're trying to learn about another culture, and i'd like to give them the benefit of the doubt and kudos for doing that, and try not to be offended by the ignorance that assumes that any east asian is chinese.

this lady even had the gall to say that if my parents are immigrants and frequently have a hard time understanding forms, why couldn't they take it to someone else to explain it to them or call the company directly? perhaps she thinks that is a helpful suggestion, but couldn't they have also made their forms more clear? i haven't seen the original application form, but certainly on the online form, there aren't any indicators that this refund program is optional, or costs extra. and having to ask someone else about something as rudimentary as an application form, doesn't this kind of defeat the idea of her "clearly stated" forms? clearly, she doesn't understand that if you're an immigrant, you are dealing with significant language barriers. that a phone call may be an intimidating thing. and actually, given her exchanges me, a fluent english speaker, she would have overwhelmed my parents or been insulting to them as she was with me.

i've grown up having to challenge numerous situations of shady business practices that "should be clear" and "easy to correct" which are clearly disadvantageous to non-native speakers. they border on scams (and definitely feel like scams) but are guised under the cloak of legality.

i'm not saying that my parents didn't make mistakes. in fact, this is something that could have been easily dealt with if my sister (who was born and raised here) had bothered to read the stupid form. but given that this was certainly not a novel complaint, and chances are, a lot of these complaints would have come from immigrant or non-native speakers, the office manager had absolutely no inclination to see this as a problem.

also, their customer service is lousy. she actually said that she can't be on the phone this long (less than 30 minutes). and she didn't want to look up the third payment slip because the email was sent too late already (which was enough proof for her to not look further), so it would be too much effort to look for the third payment slip because they'd have to find the physical payment form. she also tried to say that i may be thankful for this refund program later. man, if this were my kid, i'd use their stupid refund program and pull my money out of their business altogether.

and on top of the lousy customer service (where i had to repeat myself and correct her incorrect assumptions for what i was trying to say numerous times) she was being racist, whether she knew it or not. maybe not in a blatant "go back to your country" way, but "i can't read chinese" spoken in a reflexive, accusatory way before she bothers to look a the subject line of the email isn't that much better. i can't help wondering if she would have been kinder, more sympathetic, apologetic or helpful if i'd had a white last name. the depressing thing is, as office manager, she's the boss to many people in this company. this company, and many others, are willing to complacently ignore language barriers and reap financial benefits from exploiting the difficulties immigrants have in deciphering legal documents.

for people my like parents and probably many other immigrants, they treat this kind of thing as part of the experience of living in america. they try to not focus on the injustice of it because it leaves them feeling voiceless and powerless in a country that they've made their new home.

i like this country, i really do. but at times like these, i really hate the people in it. the situations that are created can be angering, demoralizing and humiliating. at times like these, (for a moment) i wish i'd gone to law school to fight the injustices faced by immigrants in a country that is largely unsympathetic to them and willing to take advantage of their disadvantages. but i know i would have been unhappy and hated more people if i'd done that, and that moment passes.

on one of my searches, i found a truly awesome site:

Trulia - Real Estate, Homes for Sale, Sold Properties, Real Estate Maps

they have really cool features that are built on google maps, so you are able to get quite the amalgum of information. you can scroll over the little tags to see the price, sq footage, address. a few clicks later, you can see how long it's been on the market, similar houses in the area. it breaks down averages and trends for you. it's quite the delightful tool.

enjoy. :D

"Jenny"

i've been trying to read up on some poetry, since i wasn't really exposed to it until my writing class this last semester. Perrine's Sound and Sense has been good for that. my friend lish also gave me two books that she demands i read immediately, starting with Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.

now a poem from this book, which i found very funny:

We Who are Your Closest Friends

We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

Phillip Lopate

Anne Lamott says she reads in this in her classes and gets the following reaction:

"They stare at me like the cast of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Only about three of them think this poem is funny, or even a good example of someone taking his own paranoia and shaping it into something artistic and true. A few people look haunted. The ones who most want to be published just think I'm an extremely angry person. Some of them look emotionally broken, some look at me with actual disgust, as if I am standing there naken under fluorescent lights."

which are you? :D

i love it. :) hahahahaha~!!

my glasses seem to throw things off a bit. some of them are flattering. others, i don't know who they are. :)

the creative process

boredom inspires creativity

choosing a creative life