littlestar

it's not mono. they poked me twice, drew some blood with the second, smaller needle and told me a few hours later.

it's probably a viral infection that will go out of my system, come back if it persists for another week = they don't know what it is.

oh well.

as far as schoolwork goes.... i felt too guilty about resting t home, so i damned my health to hell and went to school yesterday. i felt pain and fatigue, but i worked till 11pm and i'm happy to say that i don't feel slaughtered today. :)

my back still hurts though. :T

but it was worth it to go. not just because of my animation (which honestly, i just don't like animating that much) or because i got to pitch my 20 second film idea to other people (and came back with good insight) but also because i found that i'm not the only person who hates this man so much.

one person, someone i miss having classes with since art 28 (so long ago, spring 2004) even ran away to non-him classes (which is hard, there are 3 minimally that are required, people usually take the last one twice) for a whole semester because she couldn't handle another class with him so soon after this class. another guy, who's generally quiet and stoic, quietly and stoically indicated to me that he's been pretty angry too... just his wife has been hearing about it and no one else.

i have company. which is good. :) now... to figure out how best to tackle all this. i'm having a hard time justifying 3 semesters of animation and 3 semesters of digital animation when i don't want to animate or work in a studio. so far, the one accurate and helpful thing i can come up with is that animation teaches a lot of concepts that can be used in other fields, so as long as i try to focus on learning the other stuff, i would still be coming out with a lot of education that would be hard to get elsewhere.

rumors of the digital animation classes and exposures to the man makes me want to run away, but i suppose i don't have much choice but to just run headlong into it all and still make my life my own. sitting in on john's class has really helped with reminding me that i am interested in all this.

wish me luck and wellness. :)

Posted by littlestar at 09:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

wordorigins.org

stole it from bleusky. not ashamed at all. :)

Posted by littlestar at 09:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

beautiful beautiful sumptuous movie. i was pretty much dazzled by all the visuals, entertained by the story, acting, dialogue and well.... just fell in love with it. :)

read parakkum's assessment of the movie, as it is more cogent than what i'm going to write sick and tired.

but beautiful.

it makes me want to work in movies.

the crew are genius. the designers are genius. the world is a beautiful place. :)

and i must have it.

Posted by littlestar at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

just as i feel like i'm better, i get reminders that i'm not.

i stayed home today because i intuitively felt like i had less energy than i thought/wanted to think i did. it was confirmed when we wandered out to pick up a dvd and some to-go food. hydration is about 2 blocks away from my place.

walking that tired me.

i probably wouldn't have survived 5 hours of figure drawing on top of walking greater distances to class and back.

but i definitely feel better than yesterday... i haven't been collapsing in fatigue, at least.

Posted by littlestar at 07:05 PM | Permalink

this time around, being sick forces me to sit and do nothing. sitting hurts. so i try to read a book, i'll tire myself and go to bed. i try to work on the computer--too much exertion, go to bed. and yet i keep trying to do stuff because i'm bored to tears.

pretty much, i have enough energy to sit and stare. but tv never really had that much draw for me. and i feel guilty about asking people to come over because i'm sick. so i just sit and fall asleep and accomplish nothing. :P

for a brief moment this morning, after getting a lot of sleep, i thought i could just attend class today. it's kinda laughable that i slept through most of the time that i would have been in class had i gone.

at least i haven't been completely alone all day. parakkum has been working in the living room while i go through these overexertion-sleep cycles in the bedroom. now i'm sitting in my papasan in the living room, which at least allows me to partially lay down and not really watch tv. :)

i feel like nemo, "you think you can do all these things, but you just can't!" except, i really can't. :P

sadness.

Posted by littlestar at 02:51 PM | Permalink

sick!

i'm actually surprised that i haven't gotten sick weeks ago. i'd been working in small closed rooms and crummy hours with other animators who've been sick for weeks now.

but today.... the creeping aches in my body, the tell-tale swelling of my glands, the slow congestion of my nose, the grogginess in my head... convinced me that i was starting to get sick.

i woke up from my nap feeling ickier. :P

bleh. i have so much to do still. :(

Posted by littlestar at 07:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

i've had a spate of bad luck with ordering supplies online. :P

parakkum's computer died.

i got dud webcams twice in a row from two different sources over a span of 2 weeks.

the paper i ordered.... of the 4 boxes of 5 reams, one of them came with just 4.

today: my third webcam finally works (i tested with angela's camera first). the company is going to send me a ream in replacement (after some finagling on my part). parakkum got the annoying computer supply people to agree to pay for return shipping and return all costs.

and i had yummy food this evening. :)

hopefully, this means an upswing in my luck. i'll need it for the next few busy weeks.

Posted by littlestar at 12:46 AM | Permalink

i've been anti-social. it's been weird.

i don't like talking in front of many people. i avoid crowded settings and prefer the company of myself and a few people i feel comfortable with. i dislike meeting new people--i lack the energy, the motivation, to engage. i don't talk about myself or what's going on with me to anyone other than those i'm close with, if even then.

i can feel myself guarding what i say. i feel the little sprockets and gears churning in my head and yet not forming coherent enough thoughts to voice.

there are many things i want to do. there is very little time. i feel oppressed by things required of me. i rebel with silence.

i like my bunnies.

Posted by littlestar at 10:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)