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March 31, 2004

asian interracial marriage rates

Asian-Nation : The Landscape of Asian America :: Interracial Dating & Marriage

i'm not one to focus on asian issues so much, but i thought this was pretty interesting. it's based on the 2000 consensus, but their latest figures are from november 6, 2003.

there are two pages on the article. the first talks about asian groups in general; the second talks about american raised asians.

i found this particularly funny:
Wives Least Likely to Have a(n) __ Spouse:
* Endogamous -- Koreans

man... those korean boys are doing SOMETHING wrong. only 20.4% american raised korean women are married to other koreans. 65.2% to whites.

i guess korean guys have some rights to feeling antagonized by white guys. :) but all i can say is.... be better prospects. :) treat your women nicely, duh.

domestic violence and bad relationships

i just thought that tonya wrote a lot of intelligent and thought-provoking things about domestic violence. a lot of those things can be extended to bad relationships as well. it strikes me as something for people to keep in mind for themselves and in teaching children (if they plan on having any). as a background, tonya is trainting to be a domestic violence counselor.

Tonya and PQBON's WebLog: Counselor Training

the trick is, you don't have to be married to have someone control your life. and sometimes, you just don't realize it's happening. i've had experiences with this and i know others who have as well.

but some things that applies to bad relationships specifically from tonya's list in her entry:

4) Guilt. They tend to blame themselves and part of that is because the abuser blames them. "If you had only _______ I wouldn't have hit you" "If you weren't _________ I wouldn't have hit you" ect...... after hearing this verbal abuse for years they start to believe it.
--- even if it never comes down to hitting you, it gives them the power to manipiulate your actions. this is where a good sense of boundaries is key, right? i mean... someone could say things like "_____ makes me unhappy and if you really cared, you woulnd't do that." this could be a valid, constructive statement, but it could also be something ridiculous like "[meeting with your friends] makes me unhappy, and if you really cared, you wouldn't do that" or "your wearing a tank top makes me unhappy, etc etc" and it sounds ridiculous put that way, but that's just the fundamental message. usually... it's couched within a guilt inducing argument that will confuse your reason.

5) Culture and religion. In many cultures, women can't leave their spouse. Think middle east, India, ect...
--- or to have everything be amicable and nice. usually emphasized more in women, but that expectation that you should at least be able to be friends after having spent all that time on this (BAD) relationship.

8) It's normal. They have lived this way for years and maybe they grew up in a home with domesic violence and to them its a way of life.
--- since you can't really tell if someone is mistreating you unless you know what mistreatment is.

9) They have no friends. Their partner won't allow them to have friends. They are kept isolated. They have no one to talk to, no one to help them, and they don't know what resources are available to them.
--- if someone is trying to control your access to your support group, run. this isn't just for relationships but other friends or roommates and such. and it can happen so insidiously... "i just don't feel like company today, can you give up your plans for the weekend" for a stretch of weekends. and friends can also assume after the first few times of turning them down that you won't have time for them anymore after you've hooked up with someone else.

10) They think it will get better. This isn't necessarily something that happens everyday of the womans life. It only happens occasionally and he apologizes and says it will never happen again and you believe him. And then things are wonderful, until the next time.
--- i think this is also a boundary issue. whereas it's admirable to be open to change, there is a point where you have to notice "man, this has been going on for a while and hasn't essentially changed much." actions are more important than words.

March 25, 2004

spring break has arrived!

and i won't have school until april 5th. :)

of course, i still have homework to do, but it will be a nice break to have a change of pace.

i will be in LA from 3/26 to 4/4, so i wish you all the best and see you in about 1.5 weeks. :)

March 23, 2004

too many disney movies

after watching something along the lines of 7 disney movies in the last two days my brain is mush. :)

but my paper is basically finished. yay!

thanks to parakkum who's been the best sport and helping me edit the darn thing.

now i will move on to my other projects.

why i don't want to be a graphic designer:
"i just feel like i don't have enough time to do the things i need/want to do"
"you just have to make time"

yeah... i can make time... if i sacrifice my physical and mental sense of well-being. :P

March 20, 2004

procrastinating again... :P

It isn't a poem
Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema.
"I don't care. If it doesn't rhyme, it isn't
a poem."
You are a type A personality. You like bright
things, you don't call in sick to work, and you
have devastating opinions about art.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

March 19, 2004

fabulous printers

after i read metamanda's post on her printer, i was curious about the hp that's been my faithful printer for the last 2.5 years, hp deskjet 940c. so i looked it up on amazon.

it's pretty darn good. it gets 12 ppm black and white and 10 ppm in color (or it claims to anyway, i think if i had a newer computer, it could perform to its full potential.) and the resolution was surprisingly high at 2400x1200 dpi. i'd forgotten that it was a photo printer.

some of you have shown great patience with me as i deliberated over whether to get the epson stylus 1280 or the canon i9100. and now i'm definitely sure i did the better thing by going with the canon. the only thing i was hesitating on was that the epson supposedly prints better on matte paper, is more archival and can do up to 13"x44" instead of "just" up to 13"x19" of the canon.

resolution of the epson: 2880x720 dpi
resolution of the canon: 4800x1200 dpi

had i gotten the epson, i probably wouldn't have been all that impressed with its printing power after spending $300+ on it.

yay me! :)

crazy little animation

떳다그녀-SamBakZa.net

i don't know how he does it, but parakkum found this crazy little thing online. :)

enjoy!

March 16, 2004

more artsy fartsy films

... but the fun kind. :)

i tend to have very little patience for "this is an artsy film so i must drag out the pain and misery as much as possible and try to get at the truth of human suffering and pain creating 'beautiful' shots in the process movies."

slim susie and security were definitely like that.

my ninja for your nun definitely doesn't sound like something like that either.

the sf international asian american film festival's last weekend is actually in san jose. :) who wants to watch this crazy collection of shorts with me?

this saturday, 3/20, at 730pm. :)

two other ones i'm kinda interested in are:
flavors (Fri, 3/19, 700PM)
second generation (Sat, 3/20, 445PM)

but i will definitely be watching my ninja for your nun

March 15, 2004

fun and busy

i've been alternating between having a lot of fun and being extremely busy:

busy:
- type project using adobe illustrator
- research paper for film class
- reading for film class
- reading for animation class

fun:
- watching security and slim susie, films from cinequest film festival
- robo rally with metamanda and parakkum
- various meals with various people
- munchkins with shane and parakkum
- building animation tables, eating indian pizza and bonfire on the beach

burning in hell and psychological problems

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)High
Level 2 (Lustful)Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

addendum: i came out as moderate on the violent, wrath and gloominess the first time i took the quiz. i think it's the "violent video games" question. as for scoring low as a repenting believer and high for virtuous non-believer... i think it's because i don't think all things are possible through god. after all, god can also be telling you that you have the wrong idea by denying you your requests/desires.

DisorderRating
Paranoid:Low
Schizoid:Low
Schizotypal:Moderate
Antisocial:Low
Borderline:Moderate
Histrionic:Moderate
Narcissistic:Low
Avoidant:Low
Dependent:Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:Moderate

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

addendum: after reading the descriptions, i don't really think i'm any of the things i came out as moderate for except for schizotypal and obsessive-compulsive. for the other ones... it's more that part of the sentences of their descriptions will be accurate, and the other half being totally wrong.

the proper definitions:

Paranoid
Paranoid personality disorder is characterized by a distrust of others and a constant suspicion that people around you have sinister motives. People with this disorder tend to have excessive trust in their own knowledge and abilities and usually avoid close relationships with others. They search for hidden meanings in everything and read hostile intentions into the actions of others. They are quick to challenge the loyalties of friends and loved ones and often appear cold and distant to others. They usually shift blame to others and tend to carry long grudges.

Schizoid
People with schizoid personality disorder avoid relationships and do not show much emotion. They genuinely prefer to be alone and do not secretly wish for popularity. They tend to seek jobs that require little social contact. Their social skills are often weak and they do not show a need for attention or acceptance. They are perceived as humorless and distant and often are termed "loners."

Schizotypal
Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Antisocial
A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

Borderline
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by mood instability and poor self-image. People with this disorder are prone to constant mood swings and bouts of anger. Often, they will take their anger out on themselves, causing themselves injury. Suicidal threats and actions are not uncommon. They think in very black and white terms and often form intense, conflict-ridden relationships. They are quick to anger when their expectations are not met.

Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Narcissistic
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

Avoidant
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme social anxiety. People with this disorder often feel inadequate, avoid social situations, and seek out jobs with little contact with others. They are fearful of being rejected and worry about embarassing themselves in front of others. They exaggerate the potential difficulties of new situations to rationalize avoiding them. Often, they will create fantasy worlds to substitute for the real one. Unlike schizoid personality disorder, avoidant people yearn for social relations yet feel they are unable to obtain them. They are frequently depressed and have low self-confidence.

Dependent
Dependent personality disorder is characterized by a need to be taken care of. People with this disorder tend to cling to people and fear losing them. They may become suicidal when a break-up is imminent. They tend to let others make important decisions for them and often jump from relationship to relationship. They often remain in abusive relationships. They are overly sensitive to disapproval. They often feel helpless and depressed.

Obsessive-Compulsive
Obsessive-Compulsive personality disorder is similar to obsessive-compulsive anxiety disorder. People with this disorder are overly focused on orderliness and perfection. Their need to do everything "right" often interferes with their productivity. They tend to get caught up in the details and miss the bigger picture. They set unreasonably high standards for themselves and others, and tend to be very critical of others when they do not live up to these high standards. They avoid working in teams, believing others to be too careless or incompetent. They avoid making decisions because they fear making mistakes and are rarely generous with their time or money. They often have difficulty expressing emotion.

March 11, 2004

collecting calendars

the final project for my typography class will be a 2005 calendar. my prof has asked us to collect different kinds of calendars for reference...

if you have any old calendars (wall hanging, one year poster, planners, day to day, etc) that you can spare, i'd really appreciate it. :)

March 09, 2004

art supplies are expensive

anyone have a wacom tablet i could borrow for the rest of this semester?

March 07, 2004

yummy nummy snushis

Meat!: we be sushi

the above link has a great picture of the sheer quantaties of raw fish and fish eggs we experienced. :)

i basically stayed over in sf from friday night to saturday night and got to revisit how fun it is to be in a downtown with lots of culture, food and shops. something that is definitely lacking in san jose.

saturday morning i had a very meaty irish breakfast. later in the afternoon, escape from new york pizza and some ice cream to polish it all off. :) also got some cds that i've been wanting or looked interesting.

when i got home, i proceeded to beat my head against illustrator once more. this time, it's more of a pain because i have to draw with it. i'm preparing to get no sleep tonight just so that i have something to turn in. i'll probably have to redo some of the stuff later.

March 06, 2004

hapa love

i thought metamanda's post on this was truly insightful and funny. (this means, go read it now before you read the rest of my post)

one thing i wanted to add was the backlash of hate from certain types of asian guys (and some parents) against asian girls that are dating white boys.

i was reminded of this because i'd chosen this particular day to read the blog of someone i truly despise. in one of his older entries he'd commented that asian girls that claim to have grown up in their heritage and despise it are hypocrites (and other distasteful things i refuse to write into my blog). this is also the person that has a huge complex about being an asian male and thus chasing away asian girls and everyone else hating him.

i would just like to take this moment to say to asian boys of this type.... i find you despicable. not my culture. :)

anyway... so i've had a lot of harsh words or weird looks from dating someone that is "not of my culture." basically meaning: they don't look like us, you weirdo.

questions like "don't you think your children will be confused to have two different ethnicities and cultures warring in their brains?"

pretty much ignoring the fact that i have two cultures warring in my brain without any external indication that this is happening. i would think at least if i LOOKED a little different from koreans, i wouldn't be mistaken to have mainland korean ideas all the time.

my new set of friends are a very interesting group. most of us are in various states of hapa-hood. that is.... mixed couples who will produce hapa babies or hapa datiing hapa, etc. and from seeing how they are, it reassures my anxieties that people were trying to fester by asking me what my children would be like.

they'd be happy, beautiful, intelligent people who will have less of a tendency to be myopic, close-minded and racist.

go hapa love! (or hybrid vigor, as my sweetie would call it)

March 05, 2004

a break

stormy has an abscess. i'm taking her and beau to the vet at 415pm. since this worry has been preoccupying my mind, i haven't really been working.


GIR // GIR is one of the most hilarious people on
the show. He's a robot and is SUPPOSED to be
helping Zim. His quote is "Can I be a
moongoose dog?"


Which Invader Zim character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

March 04, 2004

really fast update

*life hectic
*lots of projects
*howie day and stereophonics concert - decent
*liz phair concert - pretty good. i pretty much agree with kwc and metamanda so please read their entries on it if you want to know what it was like
*more projects
*getting my first scanner