i am trapped in front of my mom's old unreliable computer, patiently trying to transfer her documents to the new computer by the painful attaching files to email process.
i will be up for a while.
i'm just happy that the evil thing hasn't crashed yet.
this computer was the very computer that pissed me off enough to switch to macs. and now i love macs. so maybe i should consider that a blessing?
i finished watership down today. it was a really good book, especially for someone like me who can picture all the rabbit antics that adams describes. but reading this book in combination with being worried about and missing stormy led to some very interesting dreams where i had multiple rabbits, some of them stormies, running around and making mischief.
i haven't written my papers yet but i don't think i really expected to. after all... working on computers (even chump stuff like i'm doing) can be time consuming. as i was scruched up under desks connecting wires and such.... i realized that i could never do this for anything beyond a couple times a year, if at that.
kudos to y'all who like doing this stuff and want to do it for a living. *applause*
from after june, i will be financially independent from my parents. this is sort of a scary thing. i mean... parakkum wants to help out and stuff, and this is reassuring, still, i feel bad about taking huge chunks of money from people. i will finally get a paying job (no more of those volunteer positions) and maybe that will help me have even more of a concrete sense about money.
money money money. never thought that i'd have to worry about it so much. after all, i've been planning to go to med school, forever. now that i'm pursuing this idea of art and i hadn't really made provisions for it, i find the lack of money pretty disturbing. all will turn out in the end. after all, it's not like i'm going to starve.
sometimes, thinking about the future only makes doing things you need to do that much harder. sometimes, what you need to do is throw yourself into the thick of it and just do what you need to do.
that doesn't mean that you don't plan things out, just you try not to think of how hard it's going to be... how annoying something is going to be... how tired you are...
you just do something because you need to do it and try to enjoy the process as much as possible.
i heard a really good sermon from church today. enough of one that i liked the pastor enough to ask about churches in the south bay. he said that NCBC (new community baptist church) is a good one. anyone know about it? it's in palo alto.
the sermon was about how single people shouldn't fear. that fear of loneliness, getting too old or never finding somebody has people just grabbing at anyone, inappropriate or not. this is something that i've been trying to explain to some people for a while. most of my friends don't have this problem though.
the other thing was... to enjoy all the seasons in your life... childhood, teens, young adulthood, etc... after all, each of those seasons have their own characteristic blessings that can't be find in any other seasons. so make the most of the season that you are in now because before you know it, that season will be gone.
carpe tempus! = seize the season!