So this is my first blog of the new year. And in a long time in general. So.... I'm not dead. In hibernation perhaps, but not dead. What have I been up to lately? (see extended...)
In general, not much. I laid low during the holidays this year. Was depressed anyway, so decided why pretend otherwise? Was not depressed about anything specific unless it was maybe the holidays in general. Was glad to not deal with the whole Christmas thing. I don't need anything, and don't need to stress other people out over what to get me. And I REALLY didn't want to stress over what to get for others. So... for once I didn't. Bliss. I even laid low from holiday shindigs and get togethers. I only attended things that I thought I'd actually want to attend, rather than things I felt obligated to attend. While I felt bad bailing on friends, I didn't feel bad enough to not do it.
In a way, I feel bad about blogging about boring or depressing things (so I'll turn it around in the next paragraph, I promise...), but at the same time... that's real. That's what's going on in my life. If it displeases you... don't...read...it... The people who really care about me will get that they can see only parts of me, but would be missing out on who I really am if I only present one part of the picture. The people who really get me will realize that this blog is an outlet for me to put the negativity so that I can bring positivity to my real life. (And that if I'm being overly negative in my real life, that that's because it's gotten to that level.) And with that said - I will also endeavor to post positive things here too so that (like in the real world) you get a more balanced picture of who I am.
But let's not dwell on bad things. WIth the advent of the new year, I'm looking forward, thinking about things I'd like to do/learn/see/be in the coming year. I don't do resolutions, and goals is probably too lofty a word for these. I think the following are more like ideas of things I'd like to accomplish this year if possible:
-take Italian classes (not sure if I'd do community college or rosetta stone courses or something)
-take dance classes - probably salsa, but could be talked into whatever
-travel (duh... I already have another trip booked for October to southern Italy and Sicily)
-play more with photography
-work on more artsy/craftsy things
-figure out what I want to do (job-wise) when I grow up
Toward that end I actually have so many projects queuing that I'm not sure where to start. Well, since I'm almost done with the rug I'm crocheting, that's probably at the top of the heap. But I also want to play with embroidery. And seeing a bead exhibit makes me want to pick that up again and play with that as a medium as well. And I'm trying to read The Vein of Gold (although with the progress I'm NOT making, it'll take me all year to get through it - which may not be a bad thing). And I still need to finish my photo blog of my trip (since I have most of the entries written and merely need to get the pictures in there). I was guilted into remembering that one, but may want to pick that up just to finish a project (and because it's a medium I'm not that familiar with but is pretty easy so I should just finish it).
For those who don't know, I went to Seattle for a long weekend this past weekend. I went to a reunion for the Rick Steves tour I went on in September. It was fun to see folks. And great to see my friend Barbara (who I haven't seen in a couple of years). Don't you love friends that you can not see (or even really speak to very often) for a long time, but when you're together it's like no time has passed? I love that I am blessed with friends like that. It rained (big surprise), but wasn't bad. It was nice to be away.
The rental I got was a Pacifica with a nav system. While it was REALLY useful there to get to/from places you don't know... I'm not sure if I want one in my next vehicle or not. While cool to have, it's weird to get used to. While it gives you directions with some time to spare, it's a tad difficult to figure out when to be in which lanes. And I kind of felt like I was disconnected from real driving (i.e. because I didn't have to pay that much attention to the signs or whatever - I felt like I was on autopilot - which is both good and bad). Then again, not having a stick may have contributed to the disconnected feeling, as well as the fact that it was SUVish.
One last update for those who are interested... things are getting better at work. My somewhat newish boss and I seem to get along well (he pretty much lets me do what I want and seems to respect my opinion). It's so different than when I was under my previous boss. For the first time in my life I felt like I was doing a poor job (when I hadn't changed what I was doing or how I was doing it). And the person in the group who sucked the most was getting the kudos. I was wondering if I was crazy, or had I really fucked up that much. And now with the other boss, the world is right side up again, and I'm being seen as doing a good job, and the emporor is naked again, not wearing a spiffy new suit. While I'm not resting on my laurels, I am going to continue to push for a possible job in another group, but I do know that it may be rather slow in coming around, so if I don't see any specific movement by my birthday, I'll use that as a touch point to decide what to do (do I stay or do I go).