I went to the gay pride parade and festivities today. Not sure why, other than maybe that I wanted to see the spectacle of the whole thing. It was fun, and I'm glad I went, especially because I was trying to think up excuses not to go, but I didn't back out. It was good to have gone, got my ass out of the house, and seen what there was to see. And now I'm done.
Oh, and I'm stressed out to the gills. I spent the whole weekend obsessing about this huge new project that got dumped on my lap. I don't even know where to start with what to do, but it's all on my shoulders. I'm sure I'll figure it out, things will work out for the best and the stress will get reduced soon, but it sucks to not enjoy your weekend because work thoughts are constantly chipping away my always tenuous ability to relax and go with the flow. Must remember - deep breaths, the right things always happen, there is and answer and don't kill anyone today (some new mantras).
Quick catch up on my blogging. This last weekend (ok, from Wed-Sun) I was in Utah for the family reunion. No, my family is not mormon (they are roman catholic - a good Irish family). My dad has 9 brothers and sisters, so I have lots of cousins and such. (More in the extended entry.)
It was nice to see everyone. But now I remember why I only see folks about once every couple of years at the reunions. They're all wonderful people, and I love them, but very different from me in many ways.
One of those ways is that they are pretty white trashy. I guess I already knew that, but it got reinforced. Not that it's horrible or that I'm ashamed of them. I think it's just that I'm not sure how to take them sometimes, and I have to bite my tongue around them. Which is not easy for any of my family to do - we're the most opinionated (and the louder the better in order to be heard over the din) group of people I can imagine. No matter whether those are informed opinions or not.
Overall there were no real dramas - at least much less so than in reunions past. I don't know if it's because we're all getting older and more mellow. Or maybe it's just because I refused to get drawn in? No matter, it was not as emotionally stressful as I thought it would be. I got to rest and relax for a couple of the days (whereas I thought I'd be on the go the whole time). The only snits were ones that could have been predicted (rivalry, money woes, jealousy, exasperation with being in close quarters with people who know how to push your buttons, etc.). The food was plentiful, but not gourmet by any stretch (I haven't had that much mayo in my food in... well... years.)
Someday I think I need to interview folks in my family and start capturing some of the family lore. There are stories I grew up hearing about my grandfather and how he raised and disciplined the kids, and about their interactions with each other. I think like any family there are secrets and misconceptions that would benefit from letting a little light and air into them. I'd like to hear how it was for each of them - how they kept a sense of self in such a large family, but also how they think the family shaped their ideas about community. I want to know how being the 1st or 5th or last shaped their experiences of the family and world. And I want to chronicle some of this before folks forget or start dying so I can't capture it.
Stuff I love about my family - everyone helps everyone else, everyone pulls their weight when it comes to the business of feeding/housing/keeping a large family through numerous get-togethers. Everyone brought chairs/ice/etc. to where it was needed for whoever's turn it was to host. People chipped in with cleanup and such. I love that everyone genuinely cares about one another, even when they are in snits with each other. I remembered that I do have a huggy/kissy side (because you can't enter or leave any family function without kissing/hugging everyone). I love the Sullivan sense of humor - it's good to know that I'm not the only sick bastard out there. I now remember where I get my freckles, reddish/curly hair (even before it came from a bottle), my sense of humor, my love of car racing and poker, my generousity, my opinionated ways, my love of white trash food and my ambition came from. I love that my family know who and how they are and anyone who doesn't agree and love them as they are can go to hell. I love being the "littlest" in the family. And mostly I love that they love me as much as I love them.
My japanese name is 坂本 Sakamoto (book of the hill) 弓美 Yumi (beautiful bow, as in bow and arrow).
Take your real japanese name generator! today! Doesn't that sound much more lyrical somehow than my real name?
Oh, and to jump on the yahoo upping the ante bandwagon... it's all well and good that they gave me more space (I went from 62% full yesterday to 2% today), but it would have been nice if that didn't mean that I couldn't reach my yahoo mail for much of the day. Normally that doesn't matter, but I needed to print out my e ticket confirmation so they'll let me on the plane tomorrow. (No, I don't have a printer at home, and no, I'm not going in to work tomorrow.) Dunno yet if (other than the space) it's any different (the interface looks different, but the layout is basically the same), but I'll comment if I see anything. Basically the same functionality was there before (they already had anti-virus stuff running, etc.) [Ed. note - I tried to go to my mail to see what the "changes" were that they'd been touting, but I cannot reach my mail... again... Lesson to Yahoo - don't "fix" things if it means they'll be inaccessible.]
Not that I've been blogging much anyway (at least not in public), but now I'll have an actual excuse. I'm going to a family reunion and will be gone through the weekend. Hopefully I will have funny stories or pictures to share when I return. Otherwise I'll just be more insane than I already am, and will simply continue to blame my family for it. I'm actually sorta hoping that it lives up to my surreal expectations (visiting my very tall [no one less than 5'10" and that's just the women] red-headed irish catholic family in the middle of utah, nah.... nothing surreal about that). Wish me luck...
Reading about silences (why people don't write) made me want to write again. Who knew?
Sadly, the writing is the same drivel I always write, but I suppose that's better than nothing. So what have I been up to during my time away? Same old, same old - stressing out, figuring out why I'm stressing out, finding new things to stress about, ranting and trying to get some perspective. Nothing interesting.
More in the extended entry.
Am making a cherry cobbler now. My fingers are all stained with cherry juice from pitting the cherries. In the slightly dim light of my office it looks like the tips of my fingers are weirdly bruised. It smells amazingly good - I think the rum I added to the filling is doing that. (I didn't have kirsch so I improvised.)
Why am I making this? In a newfound attempt to stop wasting money spent on food items. I waste inordinate amounts of money on foodstuffs that I buy and never prepare. For someone who is as allergic to and sensitive to mold as I am, and amazing amount of food in my fridge actually gets moldy before I throw it out.
Actually, maybe it was my exposure to art today that brought on this surfeit of creativity. Ok, so the blog isn't really that creative, I'm not really creating anything so much as chronicling my thoughts. But making the cobbler thing is at least a tangible expression of creative energy. I'm making something that wasnt' there in that form before. Sad that it will be consumed (but also kinda cool).
Went to the art deco exhibit today with a friend. That was cool. I forgot what I love about art museums - that it's a place to bring together these really great ideas. And you get to put them together yourself in whatever cool new combinations you want - more so than were probably thought of by the people who designed the exhibits. The exhibit itself was cool. I guess I thought it would be a bit more of a single medium like past exhibits (i.e. only paintings, or only sculpture). But what was really cool is that it brought together a bunch of different artistic mediums that presented a more cohesive context and continuum than I've seen before of this style that's been dubbed 'art deco'.
There were things I'd seen in other museums echoed here and it sort of brought ideas together for me that I'd not put together before. There were textiles (clothes sort of sparked the ideas) that gave you an idea of the designs of the period that were influenced by the deco movement, and if you think back to movies of the times, many of the clothes there were of this style - long, thin silhouettes that still had a flow to them - you can picture the woman wearing the dress and looking like she's floating across the dance floor. But this made me think of the jewelry of the time (bakelite and paste jewels and rhinestones), and how those seemed to fit in perfectly with the clothing I saw.
It was cool too to see different types of works than I'd seen in other places and think of as deco. The paintings I saw and liked by Lempicka(?) were at once reminiscent of deco style and themes I'd seen before, but yet not. I guess I think of much deco painting as rather flat and 2 dimensional - long lines, geometrical forms with some curves here and there, a certain symmetry to the forms, a sort of framing of the main subject with repeating lines or forms, etc. And all of those elements were present in various ways in various pieces, but they could be more too. In the Lempicka pieces there was a fullness, a gravity to the forms that I didn't expect, but also dramatic shading and lighting that really resonated with me for some reason.
I also connected back to the art deco (and maybe art nouveau stuff too?) museum I saw in Berlin. I had forgotten that much of what was in that museum were teapots (jeez, who knew there were that many silver tea services in the world, much less in one museum), furniture, textiles, etc. And here there were also ties to advertisements, architecture and automobiles. Seeing the same design elements and ideas carried through so many different mediums brought home to me how pervasive in regular life the deco aesthetic was.
I think I was also a bit surprised by the colors used. I had thought they would be a bit muted, but maybe I'm thinking of nouveau. The colors used seemed to be dark/bright, and most of the surfaces shiny and reflective.
I think I'm finding an odd affinity for 30s stuff. I've always loved deco and nouveau art, but I also really love the clothing from that period. I'd always beein interested in Erte and Lalique without entirely putting their stuff together (i.e. same era/aesthetic). Duh. I think I need to study both periods more to decide if I want to collect anything from those periods. I'm thinking of getting a poster to frame for the one living room wall, and while I'm searching maybe I'll think of something to build my bedroom decor around. Hm....
Was fabulous to get out and about in the City today. It was a beautiful day, and I had a great time hanging out with Susan. She's awesome and I'm so glad to have a friend like her - I can be totally myself around her and she gets me and accepts me (warts and all) and we find (generally) the same stuff cool. Better to have one or two true friends like that than hordes of imitators.