Geez, I run out of time to read people's blogs for a day or two, and it gets out of control. So much to comment on, so little time.
I feel like I should weigh in on the gay marriage thing. Like PQBON, I'm curious about WHY exactly gay marriage is so threatening to people. But I think that unlike PQBON, my question is more about dollars - are there any good arguments for or against allowing gay marriages in economic terms? (see extended entry)
Forget the morality arguments - no one is going to change anyone else's mind on morality issues (as interesting as it is to try). So let's get down to dollars and cents. What happens in the economy if gay marriages are allowed? Does it stimulate spending in ways that aren't happening now (either in marriage license revenue, wedding services revenue, honeymoon travel revenue, etc.)? If we don't allow gay marriage (i.e. how things are now), does that take away possible dollars from the economy (maybe not - as if people are having "commitment ceremonies" now anyway, that's about the same as having a full on wedding reception/honeymoon).
What about lessening or helping dollars spent in legal fees? I don't know how things work now in terms of partners adopting children together, but by allowing gay marriages and conferring legal rights on the parties (like the ability to make financial, legal and health decisions for the other if one partner becomes incapacitated in some way), does that take money away from lawyers? Or in the long run does it get lawyers more money when you would have gay divorces (which presumably doesn't happen now as the parties in a gay relationship just break up without legal recourse)?
Since no one seems to be taking the debate in economic directions (which may be valid since you probably can't be sure if your projections in either direction would be correct), I don't think that's ever going to get me off my pretty middle-ground stance for either the pro-gay marriage folks or for the anti-gay marriage folks.
However, on strictly emotional levels, I completely support gay marriage. As Meta points out, people have to be pretty mean-spirited to not want to let people love each other openly. I think my biggest argument for gay marriages is to let both partners have the same rights and privileges (tax breaks, medical decisions, etc.) as straight people have. Besides, I love my gay friends, and want them to have the same opportunities to love (or screw each other up) as my straight friends.
Since our country has moved increasingly to include people, and to outlaw exclusion (discrimination based on race, sex, color, religion, national origin, age or disability), why does it allow discrimination based on sexual orientation? How does one's sexual orientation have anything to do with whether two people will love, honor and cherish each other? Why would being straight make that vow more binding, more likely to be kept or broken, or more (or less) emotionally relevant?
I'm fully behind this person (that I don't know - ah the wonders of blogging) in stating that taking away some group's rights is sickening. I can't believe that people will spend time, money and other resources to back a constitutional amendment to prevent gay people from getting married. What the hell is so threatening about this anyway - it has nothing to do with you, your family, your children, your sexuality, etc., so why do you care if they can or can't do it?
If, as many people say, it's just a piece of paper, then why do straight people say that marriage really does change them, change their relationship? Is it because maybe besides the legal rights it confers on the parties, and the legitimacy that having the piece of paper seems to confer on the parties, it also is a right of passage? Maybe gay people want to be able to stand up in front of their friends and family and convey their love, trust, happiness, conviction in their love for each other. Maybe they also want to go through the right of passage of marriage to get themselves to another level (as my straight married friends tells me happens). Maybe that ability to have the piece of paper also cements that these aren't just words that are said to one another in private, that could be taken back, or twisted - that by making it legal, it makes it concrete.
Two people who want to make a commitment to each other should be able to do so. It shouldn't matter if they are both the same sex or not. And their reasons for getting married shouldn't matter either, though one would hope they'd be getting married for love. But since straight people get married all the time for questionable reasons (they were drunk, one person needs to stay in the country, tax breaks), I don't think there is any reason to keep gay people from having the same opportunities.
Anyway, this post is kind of all over the place here. My main reason for wanting gay marriage to be legal is because it feels like the right thing to do. People in love should be allowed to express that love.
Posted by cshell at February 28, 2004 05:18 PM