I think it would be much nicer to go through the world as an optimist. Then you don't know in advance that people are going to fuck up and be weak or stupid or in some other way disappointing. If it happens, then you didn't spend time expecting it and then you're right about it.
It's also probably bad that I'm attracted to people who are cynical too, and who have a dark side. Bright, shiny, happy people are fun to be around sometimes, but I think in general I don't trust them because I think they're phony - how could anyone live in this messed up world and be sunny? Of course when you get to know these shiny happy people you realize that they really are that way, and they really are nice to be around. I get why people are attracted to that. But I can't (or won't) be that kind of person ever, so this is merely another way that I won't be attractive to other people. To be fair to myself I have to admit that I don't want someone who isn't attracted to me the way I really am (whatever that is for this five minute period), but it starts limiting an already limited dating pool.
Posted by cshell at December 29, 2003 10:03 PM