Ok, so I thought that because I'm obsessing about it in my real life that my online life was also reflecting my job angst. But it does not. At least not in ratio of amount of job angst to amount of blog space. This is probably generally a good thing - as the day to day turns of events are rather boring.
But in the interest of completeness, here's what's been going on...
Essentially the things that I was doing that were fun, interesting, made me feel like I made a difference and that got me recognition are being taken away from me. Not because of malign intent, but rather because the gap that I was filling is now filled in the way it should have been all along (well, time will tell on that one). So I'm left with the stuff that was fine when I didn't get to do this other stuff that turned out to be fun. It's mostly sort of number crunching, data gathering/analysis, reporting, etc. And while that's all stuff that will keep a paycheck coming in, there's nothing about that that will keep me from calling in sick at the slightest hint of a thought of a tickle at the back of my throat. And I know myself well enough to know that if I'm not challenged (either by things I find for myself or by things others throw at me), I won't do a good job (I'll do all the things I'm supposed to, but won't go above and beyond, and won't do it enthusiastically and passionately). I don't want to just show up and take up space, so I'm trying to figure out what else I want to do. Or how to do things that will make me want to stay there. Or figure out things that don't involve this company, but do involve me enjoying work and also getting paid for it. So I've made a point of setting meetings with my internal contacts that might be able to help me either with a new role (now or at some point in the future). Any suggestions anyone has would be welcome...
Posted by cshell at December 3, 2003 10:02 PM